Ladies, if you have a tramp stamp, we are going to look at it, we have to assume that you want us to look otherwise you wouldn’t be showing it off! 

Also, if you wear clothing with text across your butt we are going to read it, and if it’s really nice some men might use the brail method to read it, ok that was a joke but you get the idea. If you dress to make men look, don’t try to act like you don’t want us to, we are simple creatures.

I have read this one a few times but still very funny / true.

Scenario: Jack goes quail hunting before school, pulls into school parking lot with shotgun in gun rack.
1957 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Jack’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Jack.
2007 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.

Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1957 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.
2007 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario: Jeffrey won’t be still in class, disrupts other students.
1957 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by the Principal. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
2007 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbor’s car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.
1957 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. State psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has affair with psychologist.

Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.
1957 - Mark takes his aspirin, gets over his headache, and is able to concentrate on his classes.
2007 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1957 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2007 - Pedro’s cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro’s English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1957 - Ants die.
2007 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny’s Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.
1957 - In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

With today being a beautiful October day I thought it would be a great time to get the mountain bike out, a few months ago I found a nice little trail in Highlands Ranch close to where I live called the Back Country Wilderness Area.  The trail is great for single track beginners as it’s not technical at all, I normally like something a bit more challenging, but with that being said it’s great for those warm fall/winter days when something in town is desired.

The trail starts at the Rocky Heights Middle School in Highlands Ranch and currently ends at the Coyote Ridge Park in Daniels Gate; you can run it in either direction. I like to start any ride ascending, it’s kind of a way to earn the descent, it’s a pretty easy trail with lots of dips and turns etc. you can get going pretty good down hill which is another added bonus, have fun and maybe I will see you out there.

Nice to see the first snow of the year, and on a football Sunday even! Time to start thinking about getting the board tuned up, man am I ready to hit the slopes this year!

If you like Chinese food or even if you don’t, you may love P.F. Changs, the food is outstanding. My personal favorite is the Changs spicy chicken, you can also alter how hot it is with various sauces that are on the table.

 “The goal of a P.F. Chang’s meal is to attain harmony of taste, texture, color and aroma by balancing the Chinese principles of fan and t’sai.” OK, I have no idea what that crap means, I got it off their website but I can tell you this is one restaurant you will want to visit.